Dating a hot guy
What I did find was that no matter what, it would shift the tone of the conversation.Now guys would want me to send a selfie; they’d tell me how sexy I was despite the fact that I wasn’t using anything more than fully clothed, decidedly neutral pics from my i Phone on my profile and my bio read, “Doe-eyed intellectual giant seeks Marcus-Aurelius type for disordered romantic attachment.”Of course, too, they wanted to know all about my work. but it’s there, the feeling that men get overwhelmed with the idea of a P_O_R_N_S_T_A_R. There’s no guide to dating a sex worker and I hardly expect anyone to “get it right” on the first go.But I also didn’t worry too much about what might happen if I ever wanted to date a “civilian," since I wouldn’t have to explain much more than that I had sex with women on camera sometimes.They’d probably get into a high fiving contest with their friends.In the first year of being single, I just kind of reveled in my freedom. If I wanted great sex with a hot guy who wasn’t going to try to bog me down in emotional stuff, I could just call one of my coworkers.
I tried to explain the premise of my show.“I know most people won’t care that I think about things because I’m a porn girl, but I’m trying to sneak it in there.I’m pretty good at sussing people out, and he’d dropped enough hints in the conversation over dinner for me to figure out that he’d have some questions about the porn thing and it would definitely cause some conflict.The chemistry was nice, but I decided that he wasn’t worth the trouble. My brother came to visit me for the holidays, touting the virtues of a new dating app called Tinder. I could put myself out there without any pictures from work, get some responses to people that were genuinely into me, and then I could come out if we made it past a few dates.Most correspondences devolved into these vaguely sexual exchanges. Having been an adult for a while, I’ve seen relationships that work and ones that don’t, but the rule is that every couple is unique and they all have to negotiate the very normal human feelings of jealousy, insecurity, and self-interest. Tinder was too sexually charged for me because I was a sex worker.
There’s an assumption that you want to engage with people’s erections at all times.“You’re so sexy. ”I understand it’s meant as a compliment, but the problem is that most of my interactions are based on my looks, and the main thing I’m looking for when I decide if I’m going to date someone is a sense of rapport. Not in the fun way where everyone wants to fuck you, but in the un-fun way where everyone wants to be unabashedly honest with you about their sexual desires and hang-ups because you’re not a “normal person” anymore.When I first became single, I had been doing porn for about a year, but I performed exclusively with women, which, for whatever reason, is more “forgivable” to a lot of people.